The Order of Slack Key Recessionists

This is an informal club for slackers. There are no restrictions or fund-raising goals, no regular meetings and no membership requirements. Everyone's welcome (except assholes), and nobody will have to write a report on their activities, ever. We inhabit that secluded isle of the mind known as Slack Key, and there we're all survivors, so no one gets kicked off (unless they're an asshole). The only rules are...

If you talk, you must know what you're talking about.
If you drink, you must drink well and soundly.
If you smoke, you must do so authoritatively.
If you dine, you must do so capably.
If you smile or laugh, you must do so with purpose.
If you believe yourself to be an asshole, you must kick yourself out.

We have no elected officers, no credo and no merit badges to earn. There is no application, nor are there any secret ceremonies: we exist solely for celebratory adventures in nonachievement. Douse the tiki torch on your way out, and please drive safely.