Matt's Mission Fund

Sharing Matt's Story.
Hi everyone, my name is Lynn Riordan. I am a very proud mom to four beautiful children. My oldest daughters name is Elise she is twenty. Alexa is eighteen, Mea is eight and *my son Matthew would have been twenty three years old.
Matthew died in a violent car accident on Totoket Road on May 23, 2009 in North Branford. My son was a great kid. He was smart, handsome, loving and kind. He was a loyal friend who was always smiling, laughing and having fun. Matt was an uplifting person who touched many people during his short life. He made himself available to his family and was always willing to help out a friend.
Words cannot express how much I love and miss my son. Every day I wake up feeling that something is terribly wrong. There is a pit in my stomach and an ache in my heart that is not easily described.
It is hard to believe May 23rd will be the 5th anniversary of Matt’s death. It is the day he chose to speed killing himself and injuring two of his friends. Matt’s choice devastated me, my family, all of his friends and our entire community.
If Matt were alive, he would have graduated from Southern. He wanted to be a teacher. Although Matt did not live long enough to graduate from high school, he wrote in his yearbook that he wanted to go to college, get a job, get married, have children, make a difference and live an interesting life.
I did not come here today to talk to you about the good qualities of Matt Picciuto and what his future plans were suppose to be or how all his dreams died with him. I came here today to revisit the worst day of my life. My hope is that in doing so I will be helping each and every one of you.
Saturday May 23rd was a beautiful spring day. That morning Matt did a lot of chores for me. He showered and we had a nice talk about a variety of different things. During our conversation Matt asked how I would feel about him enlisting in the Air force considering his acceptance to Southern. The question gave me a lump in my throat and I began to cry. He asked me why I was crying and I said; “because I can’t imagine you going away for a long period of time without being able to see you”. Matt said, “Don’t worry mom I’m not going to enlist because I can’t imagine getting hurt and coming home broken to you”. Matt drove out of our driveway at 1:15. Regretfully I didn’t say I love you before he drove away.
While gardening I heard sirens. It was 2:00. Although Matt had only left the house forty five minutes before, I can’t explain it, but I knew without a doubt that something had happened to him. I called him, there was no answer. I sent him a text “you okay”? There was no response and I knew. Very shortly after hearing the sirens Detective McNamara came to my house. He had the horrible job of delivering the news of the accident to me and my family. Unfortunately for him not before he witnessed the devastation himself. My husband started yelling, “Lynn, we have to go, Matt’s been in an accident”. I ran to the front of the house, grabbed the detective by his shirt and asked him if my son was dead. He said “leave your girls at home and get to the hospital as quickly as you can”.
Only a few miles from our home Matt was being extricated from his car by the fire Department. He was not breathing and was without a pulse. A choice was made to revive my son and I will be grateful for that decision for the rest of my life. If Matt were declared dead in his car, a tarp would have been thrown over him and he would have been left there possibly waiting for hours for the medical examiner to arrive, only then to be taken to Farmington for an autopsy. I cannot begin to image that scenario because if that had happened I would not have been given what I call the gift of time. The last little bit of time that I had with my son at the hospital.
Therefore every time I have an opportunity to share Matt’s story, I always thank the North Branford Police Department, The Fire Department and Yale New Haven Hospital emergency room staff, I was given that gift. Due to their hard work and dedication, I know everything possible was done to try and save my son and that bring me peace.
Feeling helpless as we drove out of our driveway in route to the hospital; I knew our lives would be changed forever. I can still see Alexa and Elise with Mea on her hip looking out our front door with panic in their eyes.
As my husband drove I remember begging and pleading with God praying that Matt would be okay. My child was in an accident and hurt; my worst nightmare! To this day I am nervous every time my daughters drive out of our driveway.
At the hospital the emergency room staff took me to my son. CPR was being performed. After taking one look at Matt I knew he would not survive. I said to everyone in the room “I know my son is dying but can you please work on him for a few more minutes”? I ran to Matt’s side encouraging him to fight. I told him he could do this, it was just a car and that everything was going to be alright. However when I looked in Matt’s eyes, there was no life left. I could not believe this was happening. Through my tears I remember telling Matt I was not angry. That I knew it was an accident and that he did not intend for this to happen. I told him he was a great son and that I would love him forever. Everyone became very quiet and at 2:52 the time of my son’s death was called. I held Matt and told him how much I love him. I needed him to know what a wonderful person I thought he was. I cleaned him and gave him one more kiss before saying goodbye. I was force to leave my son at the hospital knowing he would be all alone. And going to the morgue; it is really cold in there. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but I had to get home to Elise, Alexa and Mea.
While trying to make sense of the senseless, I have spent the last five years telling Matt’s story hoping to save lives, although unfortunately it is too late for him. Regardless of where I speak, I do my best to impact my audience so that they too will understand the consequences of impulsive, dangerous and potentially deadly decisions.
In my attempt to understand exactly what happened on May 23rd, I took a ride to Totoket Road. I was very lucky to run into a gentleman who attempted to help my son. This man walked me through the accident at my request. Between stories told to me by Matt’s friends and this man, I finally understood the shocking details that lead to my son death. I went home with a pit in my stomach, an ache in my heart and an overall overwhelming sadness. I could not believe what Matthew had done.
I have learned a lot since the death of my son. I learned that Totoket Road is the place to go if you want to catch air. I know kids actually travel from other towns for this need for speed and the thrill of this experience. Apparently kids have been taking joy rides down Totoket Road for years. I can’t count the times I have heard people say “Matt was just the unlucky one”. I suppose if this has been a past time of teens for years then I would have to agree.
I would like to try something… Would everyone do me a favor and close your eyes; we are going to take a ride.
Imagine yourself in a car driving very fast down an old country road; a narrow curvy road full of hills twists and turns. Glancing down your speedometer reads 80 miles an hour. You are traveling so fast that when your car crests the next hill you and your car are airborne; you have left the road and not one on your tires in on the ground. Your car falls fast, hitting the ground really hard, you lose control and your car starts to roll over and over.
Now open your eyes. My son’s car rolled 2 ½ times before it hit a tree.
Matt was a good kid and yet he chose to push down on his accelerator opting to drive his car 80 miles an hour. If any of you feel that need to speed or the thrill of that experience, call me first or close your eyes and think of Matt. Perhaps you will think twice because Heaven is forever!
Some people blame me for Matt’s death. Some think I failed to teach my son right from wrong. Since those people don’t know me, they would not know I talked to my son about every danger imaginable his entire life, especially driving. *Matt were eighteen when he got his license because the thought of him driving scared me. Everyone is in such a hurry! People young and old are driving way too fast! We imposed driving rules and limitations in our house. Unfortunately Matt chose to ignore the rules as so many teens and parents are ignoring the driving laws today.
I don’t know what I could have done differently in regards to raising my son. I cannot believe he was so careless and irresponsible and now he is dead. Matt was not invincible. His car was not his armor and unlike the two other boys with him that day, he was not lucky enough to be spared. However I cannot take responsibility for his death. I am sad that I could not protect my son or keep him safe. That was my responsibility; I am his mom. But Matt did this. He is the one who chose to drive at a high rate of speed thinking it was fun and exciting I guess. He is the one who risked the lives of his friends and many others who passed him on the road that day. I have no doubt he knows how very disappointed I am.
I have educated myself about teenage brain development and I understand the psychological reasons behind destructive decisions that are all too frequently being made by teens. Yet to be honest, I don’t get it! It is so disturbing knowing kids are still catching air in North Branford? It is sad and very true; *I witnessed it myself early one Sunday morning when I visited the crash site. As soon as I parked and got out of my car, I heard a roaring engine revving very loud. I looked up and saw a young man all by himself airborne. Standing on the side of the road where my son died doing the same thing, I felt scared, angry and defeated. Although I have read and learned I will truly never understand how anyone would take such a risk.
I wonder if all of you saw Matt lying in the Emergency Room or were forced to endure his entire wake and funeral would you think twice. If you knew your families would be sad for the rest of their lives without you would you care? What can I do to impact all of you? *Really look at this picture. There is nothing I can say or do if some day this is what you choose. But never will I understand how every one of you would not want to learn from Matt’s mistake now that you have heard his story.
Every day we have to make choices. Should I or shouldn’t I? I telling Matt’s story because I want each of you to slow down long enough to think about the choices you are making.
Matt was not a daredevil, a risk taker, wild or crazy. He never had stitches or broken any bones. His wake was the largest in the history of Porto Funeral Home. That would not have been the case if he were a trouble maker or bad kid. The choice Matt made on May 23, 2009 was atypical and his decision dumbfounds me to this day.
Driving laws are in place because it has been proven when kids get together they can be encouraged to act like idiots. Although I do not blame anyone but Matt, his car, his choice, I have no doubt he was showing off for his friends.
I was very close to my son. We talked a lot. Therefore I know he was feeling anxious about graduating from high school. He was questioning his choice to go to Southern. As I said earlier, he thought maybe the Air Force would be a better fit. We talked late one night about him getting older and a few regrets he had like quitting baseball and not doing the best that he could have done in school, although he did well. He wanted to be different; more adventuresome and courageous without fear. So I know not only was Matt showing off for his friends he was attempting to be someone he wasn’t.
I am going to ask all of you to do yourselves a favor. Be true to yourselves. Don’t go with the flow, along for the ride or try to please the crowd. Be you. Think for you and care about yourself your family and friends. Regardless of what you may or may not think, friends will come and go in your life but family is forever and no one will love you more. Caring will help you with choices you are faced with; drinking, drug use, risky and impaired driving, and numerous other destructive decisions.
No one will know this but you; imagine your parents, grandparents, grandparents or siblings with you when you are driving, or at a party with your friends. Then ask yourselves this, would they be proud of you or disappointed?
I read a quote that says “Bad decisions make good stories”. Bad decisions can kill you or someone else. My family is changed forever. Without Matt we are devastated and there is nothing good about my story.
Matt’s Mission Fund and The Matt Picciuto Scholarship were established. Eighteen laps were walked around the track, an alumni hockey game was played, articles were written, speeches delivered, gardens planted and I made a sign and had it installed at North Branford High School that reads SLOW DOWN, DRIVE SAFE always remember… Matthew Picciuto 1991 – 2009. On the one year anniversary of Matt’s death, Matt’s Mission organized and we ran in our first 5k road race. This year our race will be held on Sunday May 18th. Our race committee has already begun planning for this event. Matt’s Mission fund is a nonprofit organization and we have successfully raised over $200,000. The goal of our organization is to raise funds to help local students in need; to encourage everyone to slow down and drive safe, while raising awareness to the consequences of destructive driving decisions.
People wonder why I do what I do; talking to kids like you about safety when it is too late to save one of my own. Matt said in his yearbook that he wanted to make a difference. At this point, it is the only goal I can help him attain. I put a great deal of effort and energy into Matt’s Mission Fund because it is the only way I can continue to be Matt’s mom; helping him to make a difference.
Every year Matt’s Mission Fund organizes an anti-speed campaign in North Branford. With the help of my board members and many volunteers, 200 signs blanket our town. The signs serve as a reminder to all to slow down and drive safe, which is very beneficial especially during prom and graduation.
I do realize nothing I say or do will change the reality of Matt’s death and the depth of our loss. My heart is broken and my life will never be the same without my son.
I had a very uneasy feeling about Matt for months before he died. I was so anxious, I could not sit still. There wasn’t a closet or drawer in my house that was not clean and organized. The laundry was always done and my entire yard was weed free. During the morning before Matt died I told my daughter that I felt sorry for him. She asked why, but I didn’t have a clue. I it was because Matt was getting ready to graduate from high school and going to college. But Perhaps I was being prepared. It could be Matthew was taken from us to serve a greater good. There are many signs that would suggest this to be the case. The most compelling was his license plate number 523KPZ. My son died on May 23rd and he was always saying K Peace when he walked out the door. Is this coincidence or could it be fate? How could I know for sure? What I have come to believe after many sleepless nights and countless tears is that my son died so he could make a difference in your lives and I hope he has.
Please listen carefully: Maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had, and what you learned from them, and less to do with how may birthday’s you have had. Please learn from Matt’s mistake and our experience here today.
If I could wrap each of you in a bubble and keep you safe, I would. Unfortunately during this journey the decisions you make are yours to own and live with.
I am devastated without my son. I miss everything about him: his hair, his smile, and his laugh even his crooked toes. Some days I kiss his picture and pretend that he is still here. The reality is, he is dead and for the rest of my life a part of me will always be sad. There is an ache within my heart that will never go away and I will wake up every day for the rest of my life and quickly realize that something is terribly wrong!
Matt learned the hard way; bad things can and do happen to children when they don’t listen to their parents.
I wanted to come here today to share Matt’s story because so many people care about you. Although I don’t know you, I care about you. However all I can do is pray that my loss will be your gain.
Heaven is forever! Please think and be safe!