Osso Steakhouse

It’s not every day this city presents you with a massive art deco, Shangri-La filled with brown leather banquettes and marble walls, and dry-aged porterhouses the size of babies.

Closing some type of deal over portobello mushroom steaks and a bottle of Groth cab? Sure, you could do that here. In fact, you should. But come back at night. Bring someone tall who knows what to do with a cocktail and a little black dress.

Next (and this is important), tell the host to take you directly to a booth. That’s inside of a cabana. Don’t mince words, because what happens next is... exactly that. Looks just like the kind of cabana you’d see at a pool. Except it’s in a steakhouse, which is, convenient.

Shut the curtains. Don’t open them until someone comes by with two petite filets and some sautéed seaweed in soy-butter glaze. Eat this. Enjoy this. Then call upon a round of basil, cucumber or ginger martinis and enjoy those, too.

Then probably shut the curtains again.